Marriage and couples counselor Sara Baxter discusses why our partner might be shutting down, and what we can do about it.
One of the reasons that our partner might be shutting down is just a passive defensive stance to not make things get any worse than they currently are.
Transcript
So one of the reasons that our partner might be shutting down is just a passive defensive stance to not make things get any worse than they currently are. It’s a way for them to keep things exactly the way they are– not worse and not necessarily better. And another reason that people might be shutting down is just they’re so flooded with emotions. They’re almost in a fight or flight stance. And they’re pretty much just choosing to freeze, which is the other option there. So one of the things that we can work on is self-soothing so your partner can learn how to not have such a defensive posture. And also having a conversation, where we’re speaking gently and vulnerably with one another, to be understood, and to understand our partners can help us from getting defensive in the first place.