Perpetual Problems

Perpetual Problems

Marriage and couples counselor Trey Duckett discusses recurring relationship conflict and what to do about it.



[MUSIC PLAYING] – One of the things that I’ve heard many, many times in my office is someone– a couple comes in and they’re like, man, I just– we can’t get past this one problem. We can’t figure out this one issue, and it keeps coming up again and again and again.

And to be honest, that’s so common. So many couples struggle with that. In fact, every couple struggles with that. What’s so tricky about relationships is that each couple is going to have differences in their personalities. And there are going to be things that are just called perpetual problems that keep coming up over and over and over again.

And this leaves people feeling exhausted and frustrated and feeling like there’s something wrong with their relationship. But it’s simply not true. The key is figuring out how to manage that conflict because it probably won’t ever be solved.

But if you’re able to manage it well, this huge perpetual problem begins to feel a little bit smaller and smaller and smaller. The hope is that if you manage it well, the problem will be so small that it’s really not that much of a problem anymore. And boy, that would be a good feeling to have a huge perpetual problem feels so small again.